I am Suicidal

Dear Wura,

     I tell you Wura, I was a happy child until the reality of my life dawn on me. I was born into the family of five, mother, father and three children. Two boys  and I am the girl. A girl with great vigour and beauty. Intelligent and curious. Life is beautiful as I have a loving father and a mother who could give everything too see that we(my siblings and I) were safe.  I got what I  wanted with good measure of discipline. I thought of studying theater art and it worked well as they all accepted this. I was so happy with my family and could not asked  for less. 
       My plight came when I got to the puberty age and begin to realize my person. To me I allowed myself to be, so I could get to know my real self. You know, growing up, you are mostly who they say you are  until you begin to be yourself. Getting to know me, I felt a strange vibe, I found I was interested in women more than men. I mean women appeal to me more than men. I love them. They bring me close to myself. Whenever I see  the one I like, it was like getting something beautiful that sweetens my soul. At first I didn't understand this until I searched the net and  I got to know I am what they called Lesbian. Everything has a name you know, but you are the one who knows who you are and how you feel. Getting to know more about these unloved people, I came to find out that they are just harmless people with different sexual orientation from others, their direction is towards same gender as they were not the other way round.      
       On the otherside I saw the travail of those who have dare to express themselves, there my trouble started. They are unloved, discriminated, cursed, made feel unwanted. It is just as if they are unwanted. Many had been abused- raped by men just to punish them. They are called many name not worth it. Many had killed themselves because they were treated badly. Life is so unfriendly because of this and it seems  to me I am going to face this then I decided to keep who I am on that side mute. I have a happy family and also a Christan one, I know I will become  rejected because they have never spoken love of them.  My bottled self keep troubling me and even the fear of people getting to know do a lot of harm sometimes because I want to be loved especially by my family. My life is at war with itself to be me or what the society say. It depresses me, to force the order of another on me as the life I have. I thinking of ending my life as the fear of the hostility this brought cripple my real self. It has stopped me from being happy talk less of been the best of me. I just can't imagine losing my family and good friend yet I lose self. 
(Fiction based on the travail of some)

1 Like
6 months ago
No Episodes in this story
No comment on this Story
You have to be Logged in to add a comment