Early days are so sensitive. Am I right? Those days when decision are taken by what we wanted and not by what we needed. The days where the now seem to matter more and the ones to come would take care of themselves. Those days when we just want to reign as a budding youth and shine as the flower at her prime. The time when the elders advise and we look them as the old school. What did they know in this time and age? Little did we know that there are certain truth that are universal and timeless, they do not lose relevance. When parents or elders call you to candid advice, you should not discard it as they have come again. Something is there for you. I was beautiful in my early age and I am still beautiful but there are decisions I would have made right but been a kid, I couldn't think deep, I just took the decision.
One of such was when I wanted to get admission into the university. What was reigning among my friends then was law. Do I really have flair for law? That I cannot tell but it was what my friends said they wanted to do and I joined them in wanting to do it. My mother told to me that law was beautiful but what she was seeing in me was not law but accountancy. I said to her no, I have made a choice for myself and that I will do. Looking deep, the law was not there. I was accurate in calculation and was excited doing such. I did it without getting tired and always find fulfilment but I gat to belong. I gat to study law. I passed my JAMB and got admission to study law. I was a mediocre in it, did not shine as it should be. I went to law school on average level I came out. I practise law but I was not myself. Just in mediocre level. That was not my normal level. What could that be, what has water down my brightines, I am not as bright as I should be. I found I was in my path chosen for myself not the path ordained for me. Years on the wrong path, what do I do, I decided to turn, it is better than to turn late than end as failure. I turned but it wasn't easy. By that time I have to to face the home challenge which was devouring me like fire but for the fact that I ran out.
It was at the point of realisation of my wrong step in carrier that reality dawn on me that my marriage then was also a product of shallow decision. I never knew marriage carried a lot, I mean, it has so many things to do in the life of individual. It is something that bring your destiny in contact with your partner and it began to influence or affect it. All I knew then was love. He loves me, he cares about me, he bought me things, took me out. He had money in his account, he had ride on his feet and a well furnished apartment. A lawyer who later became a senior colleague. His faults nko? I will change him as if I can change anyone. We got married and the reality of it all dawn on me that I was in a vehicle and the driver was a man I later regretted having in my life. He was simply complex and all those things he did during relationship were like bait. Did I see it coming? Yes, I did. I saw him raise his hand against me but I thought it was anger. I saw him come late I thought because he was lonely. I saw him care free but I thought when we wed he was going to change. Little did I know he was going to get worse. That man was everything I hated when I came to encounter a meaningful man. I was warned, wasn't I? I was warned by those who could see from other side, from different angles far from where I could see. This man, this man, he was not who you think he was. And you can't change him. A man change when he himself get an encounter to change not when someone needed him to change. I just forgo them and face my relationship. The reality dawn on me like when a cloud of darkness was remove from someone. He won't listen, he won't bother about what I feel. He just lived a curse to me. I could not live a roasting life, I blot out of it and I did not have regret leaving it. My regret was, deafening my hears to guidannce of those who saw the anguish moment but I shun them. It turned out to be hell and I have to walk away. Many things were said about me but I knew what I saw, I knew what my mind thirsted for. I went my way with one child, a daughter, lovely daughter. How would I ever allowed Louis to grow up under that terrible man. He later broke himself. In one of his night walk he crashed and there was no redemption.